A Book by Any Other Name

I believe that this is a topic in which I have some expertise. After all, my profession (lawyer) comes out way ahead on the List.

Via Bling, Dan Rubin writes about a book he shall not name.

No, he's not playing guess the book. He's not being coy. He's not being cute (well, maybe a little). Rubin explains that the book "has a language problem." As he says:

Let's assume for the purposes of discussion that the word that's central to the post -- and that's central to the new book by a Stanford professor that inspired the post -- is not a four-letter epithet (seven letters actually) but something known herein as anatomical reference.

Guy Kawasaki's post is about a business book called "The No Anatomical Reference Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't."

Perhaps I can assist in the explanation. After all, as I have noted before, see Expletive Deleted (which is also the title of Rubin's post), I am no stranger to George Carlin's 7 Dirty Words.

That is, Kawasaki reviewed a book by Bob Sutton, a professor at Stanford in the engineering school, entitled "The No Asshole Rule." As Kawasaki describes:

[I]t’s the definitive guide to understanding, counteracting, and not becoming an asshole. I am qualified to make this judgment because (a) I’ve been an asshole a few times and (b) been a victim of assholes more than a few times.

The first step is to recognize who is an asshole. Sutton’s blog cites one method. It’s called the Starbucks Test. It goes like this: If you hear someone at Starbucks order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” you’re in the presence of an asshole. It’s unlikely that this petty combination is necessary—the person ordering is trying to flex her power because she’s an asshole.

A second method is to use Suttons’s dirty-dozen list of everyday asshole actions:

Personal insults;
Invading one’s personal territory;
Uninvited personal contact;
Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal;
Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems;
Withering email flames;
Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims;
Public shaming or status degradation rituals;
Rude interruptions;
Two-faced attacks;
Dirty looks; and
Treating people as if they are invisible.

His last method is The Google. As Dan Rubin explains:

[A] third - this is my favorite - is to Google one's name or line of work as well as anatomical reference.

By this standard, and Kawasaki illustrates his point with a helpful graph, lawyers come out on top (1,100,000 references) followed by George W. Bush (746,000), Paris Hilton (675,000), Guy Kawasaki, himself, (41,800), and Terrell Owens (30,700). (There is no listing for John Kerry, but I've done the research, and he comes out at 373,000. Blinq nets a mere 628, but we're just getting started.)

Thus the lawyer reference at the beginning of my post.

And, as Kawasaki confessed, I suppose I too have been on both the giving and receiving end of assholedom. I have been a lawyer for a long time (25 years), and I started out as a litigator (of the "go for the jugular" variety). For the last 15 years or so, I have been a corporate attorney, so there is less need to be an Asshole to succeed (although I am sure that there are a few colleagues out there who may disagree with my assessment). But, as the survey affirms, Assholes do tend to gravitate to the legal profession. So, we have an abundance of Assholes.

In fact, it was a Major Asshole that made me decide to leave litigation. I can still remember the precise moment it occurred. I was involved in a particularly nasty piece of litigation, with a MA as my opponent. He was a Senior Partner at a big firm (& I was a mid-level associate). We were in the middle of an especially virulent exchange, when I looked at him & the thought popped into my head -- "What an Asshole. Is that what I want to be when I grow up?" I knew that if I continued as I was, that would be me in a few years (if I was not already there). I knew I had it in me to be a MA. Up until then, I was able to use it selectively. However, at some point, it becomes who you are.

Shortly after that, I left that firm & switched to corporate health law. A few streaks of Asshole appear on occasion (when called for in the service of a client), but it is thankfully much less a part of my practice -- and life.

Bob Sutton has an interesting blog, Work Matters, that explores the issues raised in his book. See also, his article, Nasty People, which discusses how to get rid of such people in the workplace. I think I'll have to get his book.

I think what he says makes lots of sense. There's only one probelm that I see with getting rid of Assholes at Work. I do employment law for my clients as part of my practice, and if employer's put his philosophy into effect, I'd have less work to do.

Tags: Commentary, Books, Law