Gotta Have It

A la the lifestyles of the rich & famous, the Smoking Gun has posted Dick Cheney's Suite Demands. Jon Stewart offered his own take on Cheney's Downtime Requirements (via onegoodmove).

The Satirical Political Report uncovered another "top secret memo" outlining the Top Ten demands that President Bush has during his hotel stays:

10. All lights turned off — Bush prefers to stay in the dark.

9. Four cartons of chocolate milk, and a package of Oreos, in honor of such Bush aides as Claude “The Fraud” Allen.

8. Temperature set to 31 degrees — helps maintain Bush’s “brain freeze.”

7. Two televisions, one equipped with an X-Box, one tuned to The Cartoon Channel.

6. Wireless internet capacity, so he can track NSA surveillance of Helen Thomas.

5. A swivel chair, so the President can do “whirlybirds.”

4. For reading material, a comic book version of The King James Bible.

3. For when he travels with Laura, a banner over the bed, reading: “MISSIONARY POSITION ACCOMPLISHED.”

2. A “double-commode” in the bathroom, so that Bush can share intimate moments with Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove.

1. A sign on the back of the hotel room door, providing a map for an “exit strategy.”

(Also via Onegoodmove)