Thursday, February 26, 2009

Black Thoughts

I didn't want to let Black History Month go by without a mention. In honor of the month, who better than the Senior Black Correspondent for the Daily Show, Larry Wilmore (especially since I've looked to him before).

In his interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Wilmore discusses black history month, changing the name to which blacks are referred to yet again & his new book, "I'd Rather We Got Casinos and other Black Thoughts."

The Daily Beast also has an excerpt from the book, which looks at the issue of whether Jesus was black, In Search of Black Jesus. For many, the passage in the Bible that refers to Christ’s olive skin and wool-like hair is evidence. Wilmore has gathered a few additional clues. Among my favorite:

Clue #1: From the moment of the immaculate conception, the question of “who the baby daddy” was already an issue.

I’m not saying this makes Jesus black, but without DNA testing in his time and no existence of a Maury Povich show, this open question brothafies him in my book.

Clue #2: He was born in a manger because his parents weren’t allowed to stay in any inn.

Weren’t allowed because they were . . . you can finish it.

Clue #3: His cousin had the first hip-hop name: John the Baptist.

This is a good 2,000 years before Cedric the Entertainer.

Clue #4: He walked on water.

There’s only one reason he would choose to walk on water: Brothas can’t swim.

Clue #5: He spoke in pre-Ebonics.

Blessed be the poor, blessed be the meek, etc., etc. These were even called the beatitudes. That’s a double bonus. It takes the black familiar use of “be” and couples it with “attitude.” And this doesn’t even take into account all the begats.

Clue #6: He had a large posse.

Even by today’s standards a 12-man posse is pretty big. In fact, some suggest the word “posse” is derived from “apostle.”

Clue #7: He turned water into wine.

On the surface, this may not seem black but the original texts suggest he actually turned water into wine cooler. Obviously a brotha move. To further prove the point, “Blessed is he who wants to get this party started” was deleted from the Gospel of John at the Second Council of Constantinople in 553 A.D.

Clue #11: He didn’t have a job.

We all know Jesus was a carpenter but there’s no historical evidence to suggest that he ever had a job. Keep in mind, this was back in the day when everything was either wood or stone. It would seem to me that if you were a carpenter, you’d be turning down work pretty much your whole life. The fact that there’s no evidence Jesus ever had a job in 33 years can be attributed only to racism. No one wanted to hire a brotha carpenter.

Clue #12: He may have been involved with a white girl.

There’s a very large following of believers who insist Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have been married and at the least might’ve had an affair. Here’s my take. You’re the son of God, the prince of peace, the most important person to ever walk the earth and you’re black. Of course, you’re going to have a white girl.

Clue #14: Like Tupac, he became more famous after he died.

And also like Tupac, years after his death, fresh material is still being unearthed.

Clue #15: He didn’t get a fair trial.

Nuff said.

Clue #17: He rose from the dead in three days.

Why not two, or one, or instantly? Obviously, he was on cp time.

Clue #18: People wear bling around their necks in honor of him.

Even people you would not qualify as being particularly brotha-friendly honor a black Jesus in this way.

Clue #19: No one knows where he is.

He said he’d be back but no one’s seen him for 2,000 years. If this isn’t like a brother, then I don’t know what.

And for more Larry, there's his Talk of the Nation interview at NPR.

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