The Terrible Toilet

Now, I have to admit that I have been told on occasion that I have a "potty mouth" (mainly by my mother), but I've never been accused of swearing at a potty.

Yes, it is true. A woman has been charged with disorderly conduct and "could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300 for allegedly shouting profanities at an overflowing toilet while inside her Luzerne Street home." The Times-Tribune reports, in West Side woman faces jail time for swearing at toilet:

The obscenities hit the fan when she battled her overflowing toilet around 8 p.m. Thursday, she said.

Although Ms. Herb doesn’t recall exactly what she said, she admitted that she was frustrated and let more than a few choice words fly. Unfortunately, it was near an open bathroom window.

“The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop,” she said. “A guy is yelling, ‘Shut the f--- up,’ and I yelled back, ‘Mind your own business.’ ”

Her next-door neighbor, Patrick Gilman, a city police officer who was off-duty at the time, apparently had enough of Ms. Herb’s foul mouth and asked her to keep it down, police said. When Ms. Herb didn’t stop, he called the police.

Patrolman Gerald Tallo responded and charged Ms. Herb with disorderly conduct.

The citation accuses the defendant of using obscene language or gestures “with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm or recklessly (creating) a risk ...”

What makes this tale of the terrible toilet particularly terrifying is that the incident occurred in my hometown -- Scranton.

Some of my friends and relatives have asked me over the years why I so rarely return to Scranton. I moved away over 30 years ago and over the years, I must admit that my visits home have become less and less frequent.

I can now point to this as Exhibit A as a reason why. Profanity for me is a form of art. I try not to overuse cuss words, because they would end up losing their meaning. Instead, I swear and curse with passion. See e.g., Expletive Deleted. But to worry about offending someone when cursing out the misbehaving toilet in one's own house? What bullshit! Now, that's offensive!

If I have to watch my language in Scranton, that is surely not the place for me.

For a great article on the value of obscenity, see Why I Love Cuss Words.

(Many, many thanks to Philadelphia Will Do for this one)

Tags: News, Humor, Pennsylvania, Scranton