Cheney's Got a Gun
As Jon Stewart said last night, "Thank you, Jes-us." The second shooting by a VP since Burr shot Hamilton allows the humorous peppering of Cheney by the Daily Show in "Dead-eye Dick", courtesy of Crooks and Liars. You should watch the video, it's hysterical, but here are some highlights:
"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."
"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."
"The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington's face." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry
Since we're on the subject, I thought I'd also include the Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses from the Late Show with David Letterman:
10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm"
9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page"
8. "Not enough Jim Beam"
7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu"
6. "I love to shoot people"
5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter"
4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me"
3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"
2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly"
1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"
See also:
Bill Maher: Cheney's Shooting Spree (via The Huffington Post)
Al Franken: Cheney Shoots Guy (via The Huffington Post)
Dick Cheney Finally Takes a Stand Against Trial Lawyers (Wonkette)
Correction: I errored by saying that Hamilton shot Burr, when it was the other way around. Burr, the VP, shot and killed Hamilton in a duel.
No comments:
Post a Comment