Surprise

A few weeks ago, it was reported that Karl Rove was telling conservative groups that he had a surprise scheduled for the last two weeks of October that would turn the midterms in the Republicans’ favor. See Pensito Review, Rove’s October Surprise Is Still Out There. Since then, there has been much speculation about what the surprise would be.

From The Rolling Stone, The Fear Factor, comes the answer to the question on everyone's mind:

What last-minute scare tactic will the Republicans pull to swing the midterm elections? Our panel of experts predicts this fall's October Surprise

My favorites:

Cheney Shoots Daughter!

BILL MAHER, comedian

(1) Bin Laden will be captured and we will discover a detailed plan of the next Al Qaeda strike as well as an entire album of color photos of Tom and Katie's baby.
(2) A terrorist plot to blow up the World Series will be foiled through a warrantless wiretap on the bullpen phone.
(3) John Mark Karr says Ted Kennedy put him up to it.
(4) Arrange for Iran to retake the hostages.
(5) Change the name of October to "9/11."
(6) To rally the religious right, Dick Cheney shoots his lesbian daughter in the face, accidentally.
(7) Announce that Saddam has escaped. And that he supports Ned Lamont.
(8) Finally admit global warming is caused by humans -- specifically, by the Dixie Chicks.
(9) Update the phrase "cut and run Democrats" to "fuck and run Democrats."
(10) Who needs an October Surprise when you've got Diebold?

____________

President Bush Assassinated!

LARRY BEINHART, author of "American Hero," the basis of the film "Wag the Dog"

Here's what Rove is going to do: He's going to have Bush assassinated. They blow up Air Force One. Maybe shoot it down with a missile that will turn out to have been stolen from a U.S. Air Force base. They'll track it back to Afghanistan, say it got into Al Qaeda's hands that way. It solves everything. It rallies Americans around this terrorist assassination and gets rid of this loser who's embarrassing them. Dick Cheney steps grimly to the helm, declares martial law and becomes President for Life.

(Via Daniel Kurtzman, Political Humor)

Tags: Satire, Humor